Welcome

Yesterday I received notice of a business meeting that was taking place in the city. For whatever reason, I felt like I should go. I really didn’t know exactly why I was going but I just believed I was supposed to be there. So, this morning my alarm went off at 6:30am. I got up, got ready, and was at the meeting location by 7:50am. I was excited about what God had in store.

From the moment I walked in, my excitement gradually turned into a state of awkwardness. I wasn’t really greeted when I got there so I had to figure out on my own what was going on and where I should be. I eventually was met by a lady with a list and a pen whose first words to me were, “Who are you with?” as she raised her pen to check my name off her list. After feeling the need to explain I was there as an individual and not as a representative of any particular organization, the very next thing she told me was how much I needed to pay in order to get in. “Okay. No problem,” I replied. She then said, “I can invoice you. What’s your email address?” Mentally scratching my head, I said, “Can’t I just pay now?” “Oh… Okay,” she responded. I opened my purse, pulled out my money and she then told me, “Oh, we don’t have any change. I’ll just send you that invoice.” At that point I thought I should just go ahead and go inside so I wouldn’t be late getting seated.

When I went in, there were several people there but they were all huddled up talking in clusters. It quickly became obvious to me that most of the people there already knew everyone in attendance – everyone except for me, of course. After a quick assessment of the room, I finally just walked up to one group of ladies and initiated a conversation. A few introductions, identification of some commonalities, exchange of a few business cards, and then they went right back into their huddle. I moved on the next table and did the exact same thing all over again, hoping for a better outcome. No luck.

The hostess finally announced we could go ahead and serve ourselves breakfast. “Great,” I thought. Yes, I was ready to eat but I think I was more excited that it would give me something to do. I fixed my plate, found a place to sit, introduced myself to the people at the table I joined and after a nod or a quick handshake, they continued conversing amongst themselves. Eventually, another young lady joined the table. She jumped right into the conversation and kept referencing ‘we’ every time she spoke. I finally asked her, “Who is the ‘we’ you keep referring to?” When she told me whom she worked for, I told her I knew the owners of her company. When I mentioned their names, she informed me they had retired and then mentioned whom they sold the company to. It just so happened I knew them as well. I thought that would be a point of connection for the two of us, but I could see she was more interested in rejoining the conversation with the others at the table. So, I just finished eating my breakfast. Finally, the program got started and I was temporarily saved from the growing level of awkwardness.

After the program was over, everyone immediately went back into their huddles. Thinking to myself this was going nowhere; I decided to just go ahead and make my way to the exit. I left, went to the nearest gas station, topped my tank off just so I could get some change and drove back to pay my ‘invoice.’ I found the lady who had the list sitting at a table with her colleagues. I discreetly went over to her and gave her my money. She looked up briefly, said thank you and went back to her conversation. What an experience!

As I drove away, my heart sank. This is exactly what so many guests in many of our churches feel when they attend our services for the very first time. They may not know exactly why they’re going, but they muster up enough courage to go by themselves. They walk in and they aren’t made to feel welcome. If they’re acknowledged at all, it’s often times in a way that reminds them just how much of an outsider they really are. As they try to navigate themselves where they need to go and what they should be doing, no one notices them because all the members are engaged in conversation with people they already know. They finally may experience some sense of relief when service begins because at least then it may alleviate some of the awkwardness. Not wanting to experience again after service what they experienced prior to, they dash out the back door as quickly as possible and we wonder why our visitors aren’t coming back.

If people can’t come to church and feel welcomed, loved and accepted, where can they go? Making guests feel welcome is not just the responsibility of those greeting people at the front door. It’s the responsibility of anyone who considers that place their church home. If you have a gathering at your house, and you’re in a different room when some of the guests arrive, do you not make it a point to stop what you’re doing for a moment so you can come out and at least speak to them? I challenge you to find at least one guest at your church each week that you go out of your way to make feel welcomed. If we all took on this responsibility, there’s not a single guest who would come to our churches and not feel the love of Christ. You may never know the eternal impact something so simple could have on another person’s life.

 

Questions to Ask

·      Have you ever felt unwelcomed? How did it make you feel?

·      What is one specific thing you will begin doing to help guests feel welcome in your church or organization?

 

Scripture to Study

·       Matthew 25:31-46

To go even deeper, get your copy of one or all of our Everyday Wisdom Book Series and subscribe to our Everyday Wisdom Podcast.